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Good Quotes Something for everybody

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Rosscoe:


 
 Priceless Observations Department:
 




Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'


 


-   Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
 


 



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I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.' 



-    Eleanor Roosevelt


 


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  Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
 
- Mark Twain
 
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close   together as possible     
- George Burns
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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.     
- Victor Borge
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Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
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By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher   
- Socrates
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.   
- Groucho Marx
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My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
- Jimmy Durante
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I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
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Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.

- Alex Levine
 
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My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
- Rodney Dangerfield
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Money can't buy you happiness ... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
- Spike Milligan
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Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP.
- Joe Namath
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I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
- Bob Hope
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We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
- Will Rogers   
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Don't worry about avoiding temptation.   As you grow older, it will avoid you
- Winston Churchill
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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

- Phyllis Diller
 
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By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
- Billy Crystal
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And the cardiologist's diet:


- If it tastes good spit it out.
 
 
 
 
 
 

V153:
Ha! Good ones Ross.

Here's another classic by Mark Twain: "If you don't read the newspaper(s) you're uninformed. If you do you're misinformed."

Lillian Carter should bite her tongue! Though I must admit I'm not all that fond of "Democrats" these days. Jimmy Carter was & is a brilliant man. Believe he can read in the neighborhood of 2000 words a minute?!

Anyway. Wasn't it Mark Twain that said "Reports of my death have been grossly overexagerated."? Heh heh heh

Rosscoe:
I didnt know he could read that fast, but over and above that...I think his work with Habitat for Humanity is exceptional. Most ex presidents do squat once their out of office and  I admire that. Also Billy C's work with aids. Say what you want about these guys as presidents, but I say their life long work makes the person. Heard Bill does cross words in ink while talking on the phone. Very intelligent.
Whatever....

V153:
Yup ole Jimmys a good man. His work with Habitat for Humanity & other charities is exemplary. On the other hand I heard the Bush's recently bought a 100000 acre 'ranch' in Paraguay ...

Rosscoe:
I am shocked. Now thats helping others. Maybe they'll employ some locals to scrub their toilets.

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