Author Topic: Take me to jail  (Read 2981 times)

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Offline 76bayflite

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Take me to jail
« on: July 18, 2013, 02:20:55 AM »
A Virginia State trooper pulled a car over on I-64 about 2 miles south of the Virginia/ West Virginia Stateline. When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was on his way to Beckley WV to do a show at the Shrine Circus. He didn't want to be late.


The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and said if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him a ticket. He told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.


The trooper said he had some flares in the trunk and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the trooper got 5 flares, lit them and handed them to him.


While the man was juggling, a car pulled in behind the patrol car. A drunken good old boy from West Virginia got out, watched the performance, then went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in.

The trooper observed him and went over to the patrol car, opened the door asking the drunk what he thought he was doing.

The drunk replied, “You might as well take my a$$ to jail, cause there ain't no way I can pass that test.”


Offline Hyperacme

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Re: Take me to jail
« Reply #1 on: July 18, 2013, 09:07:40 AM »
LOL !

Offline V153

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Re: Take me to jail
« Reply #2 on: July 18, 2013, 06:11:45 PM »
Ha ha ha!

'Minds me of the ol Steve Martin/Kathleen Turner movie 'The Man With Two Brains'. Remember when he get's pulled over in Germany. If'n you've seen it you'll know what I'm talking about.

Cop makes him stand on his head, walk on his hands, etc. At one point SM says, "Damn, these German drunk driving tests are tough!?"

Heh heh heh
'81 C500_given away, bought back_75.1 mph
'81 Baja 15SS_140 Frankenrude_66.7 mph
'70 something SpeedCraft_(Allison 16R Clone)_69.0 mph
'79 CVZ19_given away
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WALK TALL AND CARRY A BIG BILGE PUMP

Offline TWISTED CVX

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Re: Take me to jail
« Reply #3 on: July 21, 2013, 01:25:46 PM »

Offline wexrocks

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Re: Take me to jail
« Reply #4 on: September 20, 2013, 09:17:28 PM »
Here's a little tip...

When performing field sobriety tests, if the officer instructs you to lift one foot and say the alphabet backwards, do NOT say "I couldn't do that if I were sober".
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Offline V153

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Re: Take me to jail
« Reply #5 on: September 24, 2013, 06:20:34 PM »
Many moons ago in Buffalo I was driving home from a party in Clarence. Kinda sorta ran a red light'n sure enough an Amherst cop pulled me right over. I actually saw him sitting inside the intersection, figgered I was screwed so just pulled to the curb. He barely had a chance to turn his lights on.

He checked my license & registration & insurance. Asked me if I'd been drinkin, I said yes. Had me walk the line, touch my nose, etc. Did just fine.

Then he had me recite the alphabet. So I started off singing it to the tune of "Twinkle twinkle little star", like I'd assume most people do? He said no, don't sing it, just recite it. Bleve it or not that's a lot harder than it sounds, specially if'n ya got a fairly decent buzz goin on.

Got hung up where U meets V. Kept saying U'n then instead of proceeding to V, I'd rewind to O.

Cop was rolling his eyes & preparing the cuffs when he got a more important call. Said this is your lucky night son, drive this thing straight home. I said yes sir! 
'81 C500_given away, bought back_75.1 mph
'81 Baja 15SS_140 Frankenrude_66.7 mph
'70 something SpeedCraft_(Allison 16R Clone)_69.0 mph
'79 CVZ19_given away
'71 V153_54.8 mph_wrecked


WALK TALL AND CARRY A BIG BILGE PUMP