Minnesota Classic Glastron Forum
General Category => Jokes and Humor => Topic started by: V153 on August 18, 2011, 08:55:06 PM
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'Bout 20 years ago I worked for a hardware store called 'Babe's' in North Port. Older gentleman was visiting his son and borrowed his van to run up to the store and buy some stuff. Conducted his business and drove back to his son's house. When he rolled up in the drive his son said, "That's a really nice van Dad, where'd ya get it?" Old man had walked out of the store, unlocked, started & driven home a nearly identical Ford conversion van, 'cept this one was a high top. Keys fit perfectly.
Naturally all h*ll broke loose at the store when the rightful owner of the hi top discovered his van missing. Police were called and the vanhunt was all set to begin when the perpetrator returned.
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I did that when I had an old Maverick. Didn't take me long to figure out it wasn't an OZZY tape playing. At that point I knew it wasn't mine. I parked it on the other side of the bar and went and got in my car. I'll bet the guy who owned the other one thought he had a few too many that night!
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In high school, I drove a Ford Ranger. My best friend sold his Dodge Dakota to buy a Ranger after riding around with me. Mine was a 1992, his was a 1991. Back then, there were separate keys for the door locks and the ignition. He was joking around one day on the passenger side waiting for me to unlock the car, stuck his key in and unlocked it for himself. We were a bit surprised. The ignition key did not work, but after that discovery I found my truck packed full of all kinds of stuff when I'd go out for school in the morning (packing peanuts, toilet paper, etc.)
Similarly related - the youth pastor at our church was delivering a sermon and told a personal story about driving an old Honda ... said he had a strip of moulding on the passenger side that was always trying to peel off and flapping against the car while he drove down the highway. One day he came out of a home improvement store, headed to his car, noticed the strip of molding hanging down again (his tape never seemed to stick) ... he approached the car, grabbed the molding, yanked it off entirely and walked around to the driver's side. Only then he discovered his car was in the next row and he had just ripped the molding off of someone else's car.
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One night after a night out with the boys, we went to a restaurant for some chow about 1:30am and one of the guys apparently felt the need to pass out and left the restaurant. When we came out, he wasnt in the car. We looked around a bit and found him in the back seat of a similar car "snoozing" Too bad we got out there before the other people. :o
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Years ago me and some buddies rented a house on Elmwood Av. in Buffalo. After a night of bar crawling on the Elmwood Strip we awoke to find one of us missing. We had no idea where Smitty was but when the neighbors a couple houses away discovered a rather large Eskimo passed out on their couch he was politely asked to leave the premises.
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LOL! large Eskimo ay?
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LOL! large Eskimo ay?
Well he wasn't dressed like an Eskimo at the time but Smitty is still a purty imposing dude. If I'm not mistaken he's Inuit Indian. Looks like Ten Bears from The Outlaw Josey Wales.
Lemme tell ya the old cliche about Indians & 'firewater' is true. Scott was incredibly strong & a hell of a fighter. But that boy is not wired for drinking.
I won't delve into details but one night a guy tried to cold cock him with an unopened old style glass Pepsi bottle. The bottle didn't break and Smitty just smiled at the guy. But as you can imagine this upset him considerably, so he proceeded to come at the guy like a runaway freight train. Shoved him from one end of the house to the other. Through the living room and kitchen, taking the poker table and a few of the players along. Through the side door AND screen door of the house without bothering to open either one. Over a wrought iron railing bending it flat in the process, off a five foot brick porch and into the yard.
Very good man to have on your side ...